This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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