so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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