hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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