I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize