You smell like stripper and shame
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
