Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
