Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
