TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize