I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
barbara walters just said penis...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
