Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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