Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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