Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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