im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
