the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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