I can tuck mytits in my pants
You can't motorboat a personality
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
