Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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