I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
