scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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