Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
