He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize