I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
