Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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