"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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