The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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