You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize