o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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