nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
