If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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