Hey man sorry I got all grabby
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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