an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
3pm strippers are depressing
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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