I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
