i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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