I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Damn victory sex feels great
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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