This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize