this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
