you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
