shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
