ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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