Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize