We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
