Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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