I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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