It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
