So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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