I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
