Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do vagina's smell?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
