My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
