Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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