# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
