I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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