she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize