Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You took a bar mat shot.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
