so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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