There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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