your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
