I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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