1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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