No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
