i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
