Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
