I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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