On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize