I wish I could teleport
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I will be naked everywhere
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
