It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
