Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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