I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
