Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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