Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
