i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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