So gin and wine won't be happening again
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
