i just wanna soil my oats bro
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
