I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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