I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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