sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We are two peas in an std pod
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
