her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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